8 Reasons Guys Act Distant When They Like You (And What To Do) (2023)

Her husband is distant. He withdraws. withdraw yourself.

You have no idea why. after all,You thought he was interested.

In fact, you are sure of ithe really sincerely likes you. So what the hell is going on?

Why ishe acts distant?

I hope to be able to answer that for you in this article.

Look, I'm a man and I'm not afraid to admit itI've been aloof in the pastof women I really liked.

There were various (albeit complicated) reasons for this, but some of them are not so obvious.

Before we begin, it's also important to remember that this doesn't always happen early in a relationship or during the "courting" phase.

Some guys even act distant when they're in a committed relationship (yes, I've seen that a lot).

So let's dive deep into why your man might be acting aloof.

1. He is afraid of his feelings

This is probably the main reason why men act aloof from a woman they like. They areafraid of their feelings.

The feeling of love is a strong emotion. We can all confirm that. And when a man suddenly feels something so powerful, he feels insecure and doesn't know how to process it properly.

I was there. It's not easy to learn.

You think love is nothing but a positive emotion, and in most cases it certainly is.

But what if you were already in control of your life?

You had plans for what your goals in life are and how you will achieve them.

And then suddenly you're not sure anymore because you feel a strong emotion that threatens to change the trajectory of your life.

Those nights out with the boys? The business you wanted to start? The trip you wanted to take?.

Everything becomes secondary when you fall in love. Eventually, love becomes your priority.

So that's exactly why he might be feeling anxious. Maybe he wants to ignore the feelings of love hoping it will pass.

And look, he might find the idea of ​​a relationship with you very appealing, but the emotions that come with it are hard for him to understand.

It may take him longer to process these emotions than you might expect. Women are generally much more in touch with their emotions than men.

So he might take his time, and he probably won't tell you either. He will be easyact alooffor a period of time until he is able to understand them.

2. He's afraid of commitment

Some men struggle with the idea oflose their freedom.

Perhaps they are young and would like to try the water before deciding to settle down.

Perhaps they find the "advertising phase" exciting, but the "stable relationship phase" boring.

So when it gets past the initial attraction phase, they start acting aloof.

Some men don't have serious long-term relationships until they're well into their 30s. It's actually more common than you might think.

What does that mean for you?

The more time he spends with you, the more he'll understand that his freedom isn't actually being compromised.

But it's up to you to make him realize that.

A counterintuitive way to do this is to make him feel like someone you really trust and respect.

When a man feels this way, not only does it feel like he has the freedom to do what he wants to do, but it also triggers something deep inside him.

There's actually an intriguing new concept in relationship psychology called the heroic instinct.

The theory goes that men want to be your hero. That they want to step up and care for the woman in their life and protect her.

This is deeply rooted in male biology.

The kicker is that when a man doesn't feel like your everyday hero, he acts distant.

I know that might sound a bit silly. Nowadays women don't need anyone to save them. They don't need a "hero" in their life.

And I couldn't agree more.

But here's the ironic truth. Men still have to be heroes. Because it's built into our DNA to seek relationships that allow us to feel like a protector.

If you want to learn more about the Hero Instinct, read on herefree online videoby the relationship psychologist who coined the term. He gives a fascinating insight into this new concept.

Here is another link to the excellent video.

3. He has been injured in the past

If your man has a history of being hurt by previous relationships, he may be scared of falling in love with you.

Maybe an ex abused or cheated on him and he can't get that horrible experience out of his mind. Because of me.

So he might be wary, and of course he's scared of getting too close to anyone again.

So if you triggered deep feelings in him, this may have causedthat he starts to act distant to you.

seem distantis a type of defense mechanism designed to protect itself.

No panic. If this is the case with your man, then all you have to do is work on building trust and making him comfortable.

As he gets to know you better, he will realize that he really likes you the way you are and that you will not hurt him.

Just keep this mind:

When you date a guy who has been hurt by a crazy bitch in the past, it's about making him feel safe and secure in the relationship.

When he realizes that he can trust you, falling in love with someone who could potentially hurt him will ease his worries.

4. He doesn't think you like him too

can you come over a bitice queen? You know, the kind of girl who, despite her best intentions, can't shake that good ol' dormant bitch face?

If you think that might be the case, then I can guarantee you that he might be scared of falling in love with you.
Boys are actually easily intimidated by an attractive woman.

And the last thing they want is to be rejected (it's terrible for their ego).

You might not think you're acting a little cold towards him, but you'd be surprised.

Sometimes we can seem colder than we expect.

And you may think that it's up to him to "woo" you, so it shouldn't matter how you act.

But you have to give him some kind of signal. Smile at him, give him eye contact. And if you've been dating for a while, ask him out every once in a while.

Even in permanent relationships, nobody wants to be the partner who falls in love much more.

Having stronger feelings in a relationship can lead to neediness, despair, and hurt.

Nobody wants to be in this position.

If you're thinking that maybe he's scared of falling for you because you're acting a little cold, then that's really great news.

Why? Because all you have to do is show him your interest and he will realize that his feelings are reciprocated.

There are many different ways to show him you care, from a smile and a wink to going out with him.

Once he knows you're into him, he'll stop acting distant and show you how he feels.

5. What would a relationship coach say?

While this article explores the most common reasons men act distant when they like you, it can be helpful to talk to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and experiences...

relationship herois a website where highly qualified relationship coaches help people in complicated and difficult love situations, e.g. B. where you stand with a man. They are a very popular resource for people facing this type of challenge.

how should i know

Well, I turned to Relationship Hero a few months ago when I was going through a rough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in thought for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it going again.

I was blown away by how nice, empathetic and really helpful my coach was.

In just minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get advice tailored to your situation.Click here to start.

6. It might be going too fast for him

Some relationships can change damn fast.

Before you know it, you are planning your future together and counting how many children you will have.

It may not be you, but if he feels like he's going too fast, then he may feel implied by that pace.

Relationships are big commitments, and while he may be sure he really likes you, he may feel better about slowing things down.

If the relationship goes too fast for him,he will start to act aloofas a technique to slow things down.

Nothing wrong with that. In fact, the strongest relationships take time to grow into a rock-solid bond.

So if you think he's acting distant because things are going so fast, take a moment to let him know that you're okay with slowing down.

7. He's not in love with you

Why do men fall in love with certain women but remain distant towards others?

Well, according to the science journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, men don't act "logically" when it comes to relationships.

Ifdating and relationshipCoach Clayton Max says:"It's not about ticking all the boxes on a man's list of what makes his 'perfect girl.' A woman cannot "convince" a man to want to be with her".

The truth is, trying to convince a man or show him how amazing you are always backfires. Because you're sending him the opposite signals of what he needs to commit to you.

Instead, men choose women they are in love with. These women evoke a sense of excitement and a desire to hunt them down.

Want some simple tips to be that woman?

Then check out Clayton Max'squick video herewhere he shows you how to make a man fall in love with you (it's easier than you probably think).

Falling in love is triggered by a primal urge deep in the male brain. And while it sounds crazy, there's a combination of words you can say that will evoke feelings of red-hot passion for you.

To know exactly what these phrases are,Watch Clayton's excellent video now.

8. He needs some time to spend with the boys

If he's like other guys, then he probably spent countless hours with the guys before he met you.

Maybe they would drink beer and watch football together. Or they would go out on a Saturday night and try to pick up girls.

But now that he's spending most of his time with you, he's losing that sense of masculinity he's so used to.

Maybe he's become more vulnerable around you and all those feelings that he's not comfortable with are bubbling up.

So now he's making an effort to recharge his manhood. And part of that includes retreating into his man cave and acting more distant around you.

Don't let that get you down. After recharging his man batteries, he'll probably come around and stop acting so damn distant.

9. He has other things to focus on in life

What stage of life is your friend in?

When a guy is in his late 20s, he's (probably) trying very hard to establish himself in his career.

He's starting to make money, and he knows that if he wants to be successful, he has to focus.

Maybe he's ambitious and his boss is asking him to work late and work overtime. Or maybe he has other problems in his life.

After all, life is complex. We all have battles and struggles to overcome.

He might act aloof andleads you furtherbecause those burdens and priorities take up his focus.

If you're just in the early stages of your relationship, it might be difficult for him to be fully open with you.

Maybe he's scared of how you're going to react, so you keep yourself in the dark.

10. He suddenly realized he wasn't that into you

If you've only recently started dating (which means it's early in the relationship), then it could be just thathe doesn't care about you.

That's probably brutal to hear, but many aren't good at communicating their feelings, so sometimes they don't tell the girl that's the case.

Maybe he doesn't want to offend you either. So he acts aloof and hopes that at some point you'll come to the conclusion that he's not that into you.

If you fell in love with this guy then it definitely sucks but do you really want to be with a guy who isn't open and honest anyway?

You would never understand what he feels and thinks. A better view is that you may have dodged a bullet.

What to do if a man is acting distant?

Maybe you feel terrible that he's acting distant.

Maybe you thought you were up to something special, or maybe you fell deeply in love with him.

But here's what you need to know:

Just because he's acting distant doesn't mean he doesn't want a relationship with you.

As we mentioned above, there are many reasons he might be acting distant, and just one of them is that he doesn't like you. All other reasons are easy to work through.

After all, he only processes his own thoughts and feelings.

So how should you approach this challenge?

1. Communicate with him (this way)

Space? Absolutely. Silence? Not as much.

In fact, giving it space doesn't mean not seeing it.

It means understanding his need to spend time apart, but it doesn't mean you should say no if he wants to hook up with you.

Should you text him online? Definitive. Just don't act needy anddon't pressure himmove forward quickly with your relationship.

Be relaxed and talk to him like he's your buddy.

If he's acting aloof, he might not be as open with his answers as you'd like, but that's okay. No panic. Remember that you are giving him space to process his feelings.

2. Give him space

That might be hard to hear...but you gotta give the guy some space.

None of the reasons he's acting distant are resolved by desperately trying to draw him in and spend more time with him.

He acts aloof because it feels right to him.

If you give space and time to figure things out, most likely he will come around at some point.

As we mentioned above, guys take longer to process their emotions. So give him that time.

3. Don't be angry with him

If you're frustrated because he's acting distant, try not to let that frustration show.

It's easy to blame others when things don't go your way, but it won't do you any good in moving your relationship forward.

Getting emotional will actually have the opposite effect of pushing him further away.

Instead of this. try to show compassion. Imagine you are experiencing strong emotions that are completely foreign to you and you don't know how to process them.

Let him know that it's okay if he takes the time to process his feelings.

He most likely isconfused by his feelings, or fears rejection, or finds it difficult to transition from one lifestyle to another, so try to deal with them positively. Be friendly.

If you take it easy and give him space, he'll get by quickly enough.

Don't back down and follow his lead (it will only make things worse).

Keep in touch (keep it cool) and let him know you're always there for him. If he can trust you and feel comfortable around you, he might open up to you in ways you can't even imagine.

4. Don't introduce him to your family or friends just yet

If he's acting aloof, it could be because things are moving very quickly.

If you've only recently met him, don't put even more pressure on him by introducing him to your family.

The whole Meet the Parents scenario is a big deal. It strengthens the relationship.

You might be up for it, but he might not be.

Remember:

Boys generally process their emotions more slowly than women. So take your time. Eventually he will want to meet your family. Give him space first.

5. Show him support for his other passions

We talked about men being afraid of losing their independence.

Well, show him that's not going to happen when he's with you. Support his other passions in life.

If he's career-oriented, ask him how his work is going and cheer him on from the sidelines.

Maybe he's a marathon runner. Ask questions about it and be amazed when he achieves something small.

Does he like to travel? Embrace his adventurous instincts.

Take the time to ask him about his passions and what he plans to do with you.

Try to understand him and respect what interests him. The more he sees that you support all areas of his life, the less afraid he will be of losing his independence.

6. Keep yourself busy

Also, make sure you focus on your own individual passions in life.

You don't want to appear like a girl who only cares about her man in life and nothing else. This will upset him.

Instead, make sure you have a life outside of your husband. It will also make your life more interesting. If he asks what you're up to, you'll have something interesting to share.

How to get your relationship on track...

It can be frustrating not knowing where you stand in a relationship...or if you're in a relationship at all.

If you're not the type to sit back and just wait for your man to work out his feelings for you (and finally make a move), then it's time for you to address hero instinct.

If you've never heard this term, you're not alone. It's one of the best kept secrets in the relationship world if you ask me.

The term was first coined by relationship expert James Bauer, who discovered what he believes is the key to a happy relationship: triggering the heroic instinct in men.

You canWatch his free video about it here.

So what is that hero instinct?

It's based on the idea that all men have a biological drive to earn your respect. No, he doesn't want to fly into a room with his cloak to fight the bad guys. He just wants to play a starring role in your life and be there for you.

Once you trigger this instinct in a guy, you don't have to worry about him being distant.

He won't be able to stay away.

He will want to be your everyday hero and be close to you no matter what.

So are you ready to get started?

Click here for an excellent free videoby James Bauer on the heroic instinct. Starting today, you can awaken your man's heroic instinct with his expert tips.